My Boyfriend’s ‘Ex’ Is A Thorn In My Flesh. What Do I Do??

Dear Beloved, I’ve Dated My Boyfriend For 1&1/2 Years Now But Something Recently Happened And It’s Really Affecting Our Relationship. We’re From The Same Church Though I Joined Them 4 Years Ago – Was From Another Branch. Now, Like 5 Months Ago, His Girlfriend Appeared And Joined Back The Church. She Is From The Church But After Dating Him For 6 Months, They Broke Up(The Lady Did)She Left Him Because He Didn’t Have Money And She Left The Church Too, Went Out There And Started Some Other Relationship. 

She Even Was Dating A Married Man(That’s What We Gathered). Now, She Has Come Back To Church And Claims She’s Now Serious And Wants To Stick To The Church. The Problem Now Is That She Wants My Boyfriend(Who Was Her Ex) Back And She’s Doing Everything Possible To Hurt Me. My Boyfriend Decided To Tell Her To Step Back Because What They Had Is Over And He’s Dating Someone Else. He Asked Her To Respect That But She Is Still Insisting. 

What’s Bothering Me Is That She Is Now Calling Him Frequently And Want To Kip In Touch. I’ve Asked My Boyfriend Not To Communicate With Her But He’s Saying That He Can’t Just Ignore Her To The Extent Of Not Picking Her Calls. He’s Saying That Because They’re Just Talking General Things, That It’s Not Reason Enough To Ask Her Not To Call And Also Because Of Church ‘Cos He Has An Image To Protect. He Thinks That If He Ignores Ha, She Will Step Out Of Church And He Doesn’t Want To Be The Reason. 

Now I’m Fearing That The Lady Will Insist On Calling Him, Because She Wants To Be Around Him In Church. My Boyfriend Is Trying To Avoid Her But She’s Still Persistent. She Has Even Started Doing Things That Are Hurting Me 2 Show Me That She Was The Ex Girlfriend. My Boyfriend Says That I Should Understand And That There’s No Way He Can Turn Back To The Past More So Because She Left Him. So What Should I Do In Order For Them To Stop Communicating At All Because That’s What I Feel Should Happen?

ANSWER:

Hi Dear, I Understand Your Plight But I Have To Ask You Some Questions First Before Advising You On What To Do. Is God In Support Of Your Relationship? Has He Given His Consent? Is He Just Your Boyfriend Or A Man That Wants To Get Married To You(Your Fiancée)? If He's Your Fiancée And You Both Attend The Same Church, Does Your Pastor Know About Your Courtship/Engagement? Are His Parents And Yours Aware Of The Engagement?

If Your Answer To These Questions Are NO And NOT YET Or NOT SURE, Then I Will Say That

This Might Be The Reason You're Not Settled In Your Heart About His Love For You And It Also Shows A Lack Of Trust In Your Boyfriend Because From Your Writings, You Keep Thinking His Former Girlfriend Will Snatch Him Away From You.

                                 

In A Godly Relationship/Courtship, Trust Is The Backbone Of That Relationship Because You Are Not First Responsible To Each Other But To God. And As Such, Each Of You Should Be Striving To Live A Life That Pleases God And That Includes Your Relationship. A Heart That Panics A Lot As Yours Is Doing Concerning The Fear Of Your Boyfriend Going Back To His Former Girlfriend Shows A Heart That Is Not Fully Grounded/Secured In God.

If He Leaves You For His Past Girlfriend, Then He Didn't Deserve You In The First Place. This Issue Is His To Handle Like A Man But If He Refuses To Take A Stand And Politely Asks His Former Girlfriend To Stop Disturbing Him, Then Maybe He’s Not Man Enough For You. Please Don’t Go Fighting Over Him Or Lose Your Peace Over The Matter Because Christ Ought To Be Your Peace.

                                                                                                                               

As For His Former Girlfriend, Don't Worry About Her Because If God Has Approved Your Relationship, Then He Will Surely Remove That Girl From Both Your Lives. There's Freedom In Love So Don't Try To Stifle Your Boyfriend By Suspecting All He Does. Rather Allow God To Handle Everything In His Own Way And Believe That God Will Work It Out For Your Own Good Whatever Happens.