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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

I’m Finding It Hard To Remain Happy In My Relationship After My Boyfriend Practically Raped Me. Please What Should I Do?

Hello Beloved. I Have A Problem With My Boyfriend. We’re Both Born Again Christians And Some Time Ago We Had A Big Fight After I Had Gone To His Place And He Wanted Us To Sleep Together. When I Refused, He Used Force Even As I Was Crying, He Did It Anyway. I Threatened To Go To The Police And Report A Date Rape But He Locked Me In That Whole Night. I Didn’t Report Because I Thought I Might Be Pregnant And I Loved Him Still. He Promised Never To Do It Again Until We Are Married. On Another Day, I Visited Him And He Tried To Do It Again But This Time I Was So Angry And Hurt That I Grabbed A Knife And Took The Keys, Opened The Door And Left. He Followed Me To The Bus-stop And Said I Must Undo The Braids In My Hair Because I Was Just Using Him.

He Tugged At One Of Them And Realized They Wouldn’t Come Out Easily. I Went Home But He Followed Me And Swore He Was Sorry And Wouldn’t Do It Again. I Forgave Him Even Though My Love For Him Is Not As It Used To Be. Now These Days, I Can’t Do Anything With Him Without Referring To That Incident. It’s Hard For Me To Accept Money Or Gifts From Him Because The Other Day He Wanted Me To Go With Him To Church In Town I Told Him I Didn’t Have Money For Bus-fare And He Said He Would Reimburse If I Took From My Allowance. Instead Of The Usual R5 Fare, It Was A Dollar That Day (Happens In Zim.) And When I Told Him, He Seemed To Think I Was Lying, I Felt Insulted That He Thought I Would Try And Trick Him Out Of Such An Amount.

Now I Have These Negative Feelings Towards Him Even Though He Says He Was Joking. Help Beloved. Am I Wrong To Expect Him To Do Certain Things For Me, And Not Grudgingly?

To Be Truly Honest With You Dear, That Boyfriend Of Yours Is Not A Born Again Believer In Christ Jesus At All. How Can A New Creation Rape A Lady While She’s Crying And Tried To Do It Again On Another Occasion? He’s A Fake Christian Pretending To Be A Sheep In A Wolf’s Clothing. Please Run For Your Dear Life.

Secondly, You’re To
Blame Too For The Rape Issue And Almost A Repeat Of It. How Can A Born Again Sister Of Virtue Go Alone To A Guy’s House And Enter His Room Alone With Him? Do You Really Blame Him That He Pounced On You? Sometimes, We Take The Grace And Mercy Of God For Granted.

Your Boyfriend Seriously Erred And You Erred Too – Both Of You Need To Go Back To God In Prayers Asking For His Mercy And Forgiveness. I Thank God You Weren’t Impregnated Else You Would Really Have Learnt Your Lesson The Hard Way But Please Learn It Now And Cut Off The Relationship Before A More Serious Harm From Your Boyfriend Befalls You.

Finally, I’m Not Surprised At The Lack Of Trust Between You Guys – You No Longer Love Him As Before And He Does Not Trust You. Truly, These Are All The Works Of The Flesh And Should Not Be Found In A Life Of A Born-Again Child Of God. My Final Advice; Break-Off The Relationship Before He Kills You By Raping You To Death!

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