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Thursday, March 03, 2011

Must God Choose Our Marriage Partners For Us?

Did God really create someone in particular we must marry?

Since God knew us while we were yet in the womb, He also knows who our life-partners are but until we commit all to Him, we're bound to make mistakes most times. You can meet a lady and desire to marry her but you must present it to God and wait for Him to confirm it before proceeding.

In another way, His unseen hands also guides us and when we remain and bear fruits in Him, even without hearing from Him, our minds are so aligned to His that we still make choices but in truth, He's the one actually making the right choices in us and at the end, all was done according to His will.

But when we walk by sight and are captivated by beauty, fame, status, wealth etc., then it becomes hard to listen to God because those things have become an idol in our hearts. So, Yes, our Father in Heaven has a special person to us to marry because He alone sees the future and when we walk with and obey Him, everlasting joy becomes our portion..


  1. Good. . . May God continue to open window of heavenly WORD and WISDOM to you, to mode us blend us and strenghten us. but my question is this, can this special person be any(Godly any) at first. another thing i remember is the case Isaac Gen24:3-9.

  2. Thanks for your comment and question Abdron. The answer to your question is Yes. A believer in Christ Jesus cannot marry an unbeliever because the Bible warns against it. It says we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Light does not have any relationship with darkness and it applies to Christians too.

    But if the person agrees to give his/her life to Christ, then it is advised that you give them sometime to really reflect the life of Christ in them before going forward with your intention.

    Remain richly blessed..

  3. Sorry but there is absolutely no evidence of this in the New Testament in Jesus teachings. I know people who have waited for decades and well meaning but ignorant Christian friends say it's because it wasn't Gods will for them to have a partner, so they suffered loneliness instead. This is ridiculous. Why wouldn't it have been His will when He designed us for relationship?? People take Jer 29:11 and Matt 6:33 out of context ALL THE TIME and apply it to their love lives, but it's terribly dangerous. Please try to use just a little logic when you're trying to help people or you can seriously mislead them and damage their chance at happiness in this life if they take to heart a false teaching.

  4. Hi Anonymous, thanks for your observation. Please re-read my answer and try to understand my point here. A genuine believer hears from God so every decision he/she makes must be approved by Him.

    As a genuine believer in Christ Jesus who hears him, waiting on God becomes a lifestyle because He always answers at His own time and in His own special way. God does not owe any of us excuses for what He permits in our lives.

    But deciding to take decisions by ourselves and asking God to play a second fiddle by accepting and blessing us is a very DANGEROUS act.

    So, I still maintain my point that God MUST approve of our choice of a marriage partner cos He has someone in mind for us and only when we obey Him in this aspect that we find a good thing and obtain favour from Him.

    God bless you..

    1. Hi,
      Cld you elaborate 'dangerous act'.
      I mean, if boy and girl are both born again Christians, and are faithful to each other for say 4 yrs, isn't tht good enough? Won't it be fair to leave each other heart-broken, and marry somebody else, say if that is what the Will of God is?
      What is wrong with a born again Christians, who are in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship to tie the knot?
      I have seen many blessed couples who have dated for good amt of yrs, as blessed as even having miracle babies, which implies that even God is with them in whatever they do..

    2. Melissa dear, by dangerous act, I mean taking your own decision without duly consulting God because when we do this, God leaves us to do as we want and reap the consequences.

      If a genuine born again lady and gent consult God before entering a relationship, it'll save them the heart break but if they go on to marry, there's a chance they'll enjoy their marriage like you've seen in some marriages and there's another chance they'll have problem that might lead to divorce.

      But a truly born again Christian will never want to take chances when he/she has a God who sees ahead and has good plans for her/him. It always pays to allow Him lead and follow His leadings 'cos in following Him, one will never ever go astray..

      I hope I answered your question. Thanks for visiting my blog..

  5. I always here God telling me what I should and Not do. I heard His voice once again I think 3 times by the time I met my friend, who became very close with me. He told me the first time he saw me he had a desire to know me, me in the other hand I heard a voice telling me something about this guy but about that time I had just recently lost my sister and separated from my ex boyfriend. So I was going through emotional pain and didn't really want to listen to what the voice was saying. But as time went by, myself and the guy became very close and I noticed he likes me a lot. I then asked him as I was trying to avoid confusions and further hurts. He told me he was taking his time to get to know and trsut me, and that he was waiting for that time he can compeletely trust me. I broke all communications with him as its very hard to stay friends with him while having feelings for him. He told me he's not yet ready for a relationship as he had been hurt terribly in the past. The thing is whenever he sees me he talks and talks to me so much, and happily so that I end up being very confused as to is he really the one or what? Considering the voice that I brushed off due to the pain I was feeling at that time. He makes me very happy and has made it very clear that he's very confortable around me. Could he be the one? How would I know the voice was of Gos's this time and isn't the same desire he had to know me before even saying a word to me a way of God talking to his heart? I think I'm getting impatient more than anything

    1. My dear Tebogo Medirwe, the danger lies in being impatient. Waiting on God is tasking but He freely gives us the grace if only we will ask Him because in the long run, we are the ones who'll benefit from His timing for us. Remember, God has made everything beautiful in its time (Eccl.3:11a).

      When you were passing through the emotional pain of losing your sister, I got from your writing that he was there for you which was why you became close to him as time went by. Now that he's taking his time, be there for him too as his friend.

      If he's waiting to fully know and trust you before committing himself in a relationship with him, please give him the time and space he needs because he may have had a hurtful past and is just trying to be more careful. I don't think remaining his friend is that bad.

      Since you do hear from God, go back again to Him for confirmation about your friend. God can speak to a man about a lady and put the desire in him but it still depends on the man to do what the Holy Spirit is asking him to do. On a final note dear,I'll advise you not to give up because blessed are all who wait for God! (Isa.30:18)

  6. Allowing God to choose your life partner is the best because he alone knows you better dan anyone and he knows the person who will be a suitable partner for you. God knows your flaws and your strenghts and he knows the person who will compliment dem. So wait on God.

  7. Good discussion.@ Ask beloved thanks for ur posts. I've been searching the answer to this question ''do we choose our life partners or God chooses them for us?'' Somewhat i believe it is God who chooses for us. He brings people in our lives and also takes them away. Cant say for sure though, but it seems so.

    1. Thanks Anonymous.. God does want to choose for us but He can only do that if we let Him. So the choice of allowing God to choose or choosing by ourselves rests with us but we'll greatly benefit if we give Him the permission to choose for us 'cos we never can see as He sees.

      Remain blessed in the Lord..


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