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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Special Edition: For The Married; Give Your Marriage a Tune-Up!

...be kind to one another, tender hearted... Ephesians 4:32
The secret to closeness in marriage is not sparkling conversation or shared interests or incredible sex. As good as those are, the secret is practising plain, old-fashioned thoughtfulness and kindness.

It's the stuff we learn when we're young and forget when we're too busy: things like respect, sensitivity, attentiveness and caring. If your marriage needs a tune-up, start doing these four things.

First, practise 'hug therapy'. When you're at odds with each other, remember this: 'Hearts may agree though heads differ'. A hug works wonders. When we touch
one another in caring ways our bodies actually produce chemicals that calm us emotionally and help us to bond physically.

God designed us that way. Second, don't forget the small stuff. When you routinely build little kindnesses into your marriage they become a source of strength later; it's like money in the bank you can draw on.

So think 'personal' and 'sweet', like helping to clean up after dinner, making the bed, walking the dog or putting out the bins. Third, mind your manners. Just because you're married doesn't mean common courtesy should go by the wayside.

The Bible says, 'Be kind to one another, tender hearted.' That means listening without interrupting, and practising the basics like saying 'Please', 'Thank you' and 'I'm sorry'. This stuff's not rocket science, but it works!

Finally, compliment each other. Your marriage partner is not a mind reader. Whenever you think something nice about them, tell them! We live in a cold, competitive world; hearing that we're loved, smart, attractive and fun from someone whose opinion we really value means everything.

Remain richly blessed as you pass this on to the married people you know..


  1. 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 ESV / 17 helpful votes

    Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...

  2. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ...

  3. Wow! Thanks dear and God bless you for these lovely contributions. Indeed Love is the fulfillment of all things. May God fill our hearts daily with His divine and undiluted love now and always, amen!

  4. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    “If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,’ then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate. And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her; and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city. ...

  5. The penalty is flogging and asking the husband to pay an amount of money as a fine. After that, the wife is given back to him and he will not be allowed to divorce her BUT if his accusation is true, then the lady is to be stoned to death. This shows us the value that God places on Virginity. Thanks Anonymous for drawing our attention to these verses..

  6. Romans 12:1-21 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ...

  7. Ephesians 4:1-32 ESV / 1 helpful vote

    I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, ...


I'll Really Love To See Your Contributions/Advice Too, Thanks!