A Chorister Is Stealing My Mind..

Re: Overcoming infatuation, love, crush..
Dear AskBeloved,

What you just mentioned is exactly what is killing me. I went to this church and there was this lady who is the member of the choir. Every time I look at her she just draw my attention away and she would be glued in my mind for quite a long time, I cannot realy say she is disturbing me because I manage to get the message of the sermon, but its been a year now.

It fustrates me because its the first time temptations seem to overcome me, and some times having no one to understand what you going through can be realy disturbing. I even decided to change the church I am currently in because its too much for for what I can bear.

But I realy don't know if that would be a valid reason or it would just be a proof of failure I am, and if that is the case I won't let it happen without a fight because I hate losing.

Please advise...

ANSWER:
Dear Patrick,

Thanks for bringing this disturbing issue to light. I wonder if it could be crush or infatuation that you're feeling for this lady but none of it will succeed in killing you in Jesus' name, amen!

I will NOT advise you to change churches because that's a sign of failure and for how long will you continue to switch churches whenever you meet such temptations? You can switch seats so that you'll see less of her but DON'T leave the church.

What I'll suggest you do is to really ask yourself what captivates you about this lady that will make her remain glued to your mind for a long time. Then bring it under the searching light of God's Word because He has promised us a way out of any temptation that seems bigger than us.

You will also have to resolve that you would not dwell on her because you have the power over your mind and thoughts and remember that the Bible says that "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he". When she wants to come into your thought, do something useful like working, reading your Bible because an idle mind is the devil's workshop.

Tell yourself and the devil that you must win this battle over your mind and thought whether he likes it or not and believe that in Christ, victory will certainly be yours. I'll uphold you in prayers and you will surely triumph in Jesus' name, amen!

Remain richly blessed..

Words Of Wisdom On Marriage..

Enter into marriage with courage – but with caution.
Take time to do- that which time cannot undo
Think well before you tie-what you cannot untie

Wedlock is a padlock
A padlock is a very useful thing to preserve treasure
But it is terrible to be locked into a marriage much disliked

Tarry, tarry, tarry! Think again before you marry
One might push this tarry too far, but with seldom meet
with such a case.
Most rush into matrimony-like a dog at a piece of meat.
Today married-tomorrow harried!

The frogs in Aesop’s fable were extremely wise:
They greatly needed some water, but they would not leap
into the well
Because they knew they could not get out again.

He who marries a simpleton-is a simpleton!
He did not use sufficient discretion and discernment.
However, simpleton or no simpleton-he’s in for it for life,
And must bear the consequences.

One who marries for beauty alone is as foolish as the man
who ate a bird because it sang so sweetly.
Don’t be fooled by pretty face; look for character and grace.
Blessed is the one who can say, after many years: “I did
Commit no act of folly when I married my sweet molly.”

May God help you to be wise!
Remain richly blessed..

In The Grip Of Pornography And Masturbation..

Dearest sister in Christ..I was reading your note "How to overcome infatuation, lust , crush" etc
I don't know but I am going through something similar.
I am 15 and I like a guy. I've known him since an year and I met him on Facebook.
My mind is occupied with his thoughts and the Bible has commanded us to love God with all of our HEART, SOUL, MIND AND STRENGTH. . . .I try deactivating my account but then I don't know God has been using my account. It may sound weird but I have been posting notes about Jesus and I have friends who are getting saved. This has kept me from deactivating. The guy I like ..has now started taking God seriously and has started anew and I am glad he's saved....but I'm losing my time with God. Worse I have started returning back to my old sins. I was addicted to something very very shameful. I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. . . I repented but now I am falling again. I need to confess it because it's creating a mess in my heart. I need help and I don't know what to do. Please Please help me...I am ashamed and lost. My heart is dull. It's not responding to God properly. I don't feel loved. Please please help me:(

ANSWER:
My dearest Heavyheart, I'm so touched by this message cos you chose to confide in me and come public with it and I believe this is the work of the Holy Spirit. I truly understand your predicament more than you could ever know because I've passed through the same thing and the blood of Jesus Christ washed me thoroughly clean and I know that if He can do it for me, then He can do it for you too.

When I was younger, I read romantic and erotic novels, watched pornographic films and masturbated too. I prayed and prayed after each shameful act and after a while, I'll return to those sins again. I later realized through the help of the Holy Spirit that I can never do it on my own strength and you can't too.

I handed it over to Him, destroyed all the corrupt Cd's and stopped reading such novels. Anything that made me think bad and corrupt thoughts had to be done away with because the Bible tells us that "To the pure, all things are pure but to the corrupt, all things are corrupt."

The way you confessed and said it out is very encouraging and a slap to the devil. I never told anyone about this testimony because the act is so dirty and shameful but it's only by confessing that we become free and I thank the Holy Spirit for using you to make me proclaim God's saving grace upon my life. My mess has become my message and yours can become your message too if you will give room to the Holy Spirit!

What I'm saying here is that you can't win this battle on your strength but rather, your deliverance comes in Christ. Discard all corrupt things related to pornography and masturbation and tell it to Jesus that you want and truly desire to be washed in His blood, to remove the dullness in your heart and make you feel loved again. He's waiting to hear from you. By the grace of God, you will surely conquer it the way I did for years and still remain a conqueror in Jesus' name, Amen!!

Finally, I purposely left out your likeness for that guy because liking someone is not bad in itself but when they begin to occupy all our thoughts, then they're stealing God's position because only God must dominate our thoughts.

Don't deactivate your account since you feel strongly that God is using it. Keep up the good work and God's blessings will remain your portion.

Remain richly blessed dear..

Love Quotes For Your Weekend(4)

For most men, LOVE is a thing apart while for women, it is their whole existence..

Treasure the LOVE you receive above all. It will survive long after you gold and good health has vanished..

What the world really needs is more LOVE and less paper work..

LOVE’s greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred and awesomely beautiful..

Young LOVE is a flame, very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still light and flickering. The LOVE of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable..

We LOVE because it is the only true adventure..

Remain richly blessed..

He's Delaying Proposing To Me..

Hi, AskBeloved, I’ve been in a relationship for 3 going to 4 years now but my guy is yet to make any form of a deeper commitment or marriage proposal and we’re both working now though not in the same country. When I raised the issue over the phone, he got angry with me but it’s been bothering me. Please what should I do as I’m not getting younger and my friends are getting married one-by-one? Thanks.

ANSWER:
Hi Ify, thanks for coming here to receive a godly advice for your relationship. This comes down to the role of effective communication in your relationship. I do not believe that he has a right to get angry over an issue that is seriously bothering you.

The tone of voice you used while asking him about the future of your relationship ‘might’ be the reason for his anger because the Bible tells us in the book of Proverbs that a gentle answer turns away wrath.

A relationship without a definition is NO RELATIONSHIP. Here are some questions to ask before entering any relationship; what are we going to benefit from the r/ship? Will we help ourselves to increase our faith in God in this r/ship? Do we foresee a future (marriage) for this r/ship? Etc.

I will also advise you to pray about your relationship and ask God to use this period to reveal to you if your guy is truly the one for you. Secondly, never ever compare yourself with others because our destinies in life are different and it is not how far but how well.

Finally, long distance relationships are hard to maintain which is why you need to talk with him and settle this matter once and for all so that your heart can be at rest.

Remain richly blessed dear..

How To Control Your Sexual Urges(3)

We must be careful what we gaze upon and what we listen to. When the flesh yields to sensual distractions, it cannot please God. Guard your senses, as they are the entrance to your human body. Your body is your responsibility.

What your body does or does not do is your responsibility – nobody else’s. You can blame it on your past, your present, or your future. But it still boils down to this: your body is your responsibility. It does not think – it just craves. It mainly wants three things: sex, food and comfort.

These are the three things your physical body wants in large doses and it is “your job” to keep them in check because you’ll definitely give an account of it on the last/judgment day for what shall it profit us to gain all these things of the world and thereby lose our souls. God forbid!

It is never too late to turn to Christ. You can do that now; HE’S WAITING..

Remain richly blessed..

She's Taking My Love And I For Granted..

Hi AskBeloved, I'm in love with a girl I want 2 marry...things were movin fine until recently, she can't visit me anymore & can't allow me visit her in her house again. It's giving me a cause for worry cuz may be she noticed my lov 4 her is growin stronger, and so she now begin 2 take me for granted even on phone calls. What should I do?

ANSWER:
Nonso, thanks for your question. My advice is that you should call her and ask her to see you(if you reside in the same town/city with her) so you can have a good talk with her to know what’s bothering her. I’m saying this because “communication” matters a lot in any relationship and sometimes, our minds do not tell us the right things. Your feelings may not be correct so call her and ask her to see you so that this matter will be settled between you guys.

Any relationship without effective communication is bound to fail. If you truly love this girl like you said, then don't give up on her yet or feel she’s taking you for granted because she maybe passing through a phase in her life and needs your understanding.

When you try all these and there seems to be no head-way, then you’ll have to hand it over to God because anything that appears above and beyons us is subject to God’s Authority. Commit her to God and ask Him to take control of the whole situation and that if she's hiding anything from you, He should bring it to light.

Then, you’ll now have to trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Ask the Lord to reveal to you, with this situation, if she's really the right person for you because she may or may not be the right person for you. When you do this, then, wait patiently for God to work all things out for your own good.

I truly understand your hurt and confusion but God understands you more and He's waiting to hear you tell Him everything.

Remain richly blessed.

Love Quotes For Your Weekend(3)

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are LOVED..

A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together; it is when an imperfect couple that LOVES each other learns to enjoy their differences.

To LOVE and be LOVED is to feel the sun from both sides..

The entire sum of existence – apart from God of course – is the magic of being truly LOVED and needed by just one person..

You can’t make someone LOVE you, all you can do is to be someone who can be LOVED and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth..

Where true LOVE is concerned, too, much is not even enough..