Dear
Beloved, Please Help A Friend In Need: My Fiancé Is In A State Of Bitterness. I
And My Fiancé Has Been In A Very Good Relationship For Many Years Now. He Was A
Very Nice And God Fearing Person. We Grew To Love Each Other. All Through Those
Times He Knew I Was A Virgin And Encouraged Me To Keep It. Then All Of A Sudden
He Stopped Communicating With Me And Didn't Respond To My Messages. This Went
On For Long And I Became Broken Hearted Because He Was The Best Friend I Had
Then. I Confided In Matured People Even My Mum And They Told Me To Move On With
My Life Which I Reluctantly Did. Someone Else In My Church Approached Me For
Dating, I Refused Initially But Had To Accept – Not Because I Was Really
Interested But To Get My Lost Friend Out Of My Mind. All Throughout The Period
Of Dating My Present Man, I Was Emotionally Unbalanced. One Day, One Thing Led
To Another And He Had Sex With Me, I Was So Full Of Regrets After That Day, The
Feeling I Had Was Awful. I Had To Leave Him Because He Turned Out To Be Someone
I Never Desired – He Was Just The Opposite Of My Other Guy. Immediately I Left
Him Still In Pain Of Giving Myself To Him, My Other Friend Re-Surfaced Back
With Excuses Of How He Was Struggling To Be A Man To Come Back And Settle Down
With Me. He Then Asked If I Was A Virgin, I Couldn’t Stand The Shame And
Reaction From Him So I Had To Lie. After A Year, He Proposed, I Still Couldn’t
Tell Him Out Of Fear. We Were Preparing For Our Marriage And I Decided To Pay
Him A Visit With My Parent's Consent. One Thing Led To Another, He Had Sex With
Me And Found Out. I Had To Confess And Told Him Everything. After Some Time He
Forgave Me And He Is Pushing On With The Marriage But He Hasn't Been Himself.
He Is Bitter, Brings Up The Past And Falls Sick From Time To Time. I Have Made
Peace With God Long Ago But I Can’t Forgive Myself For Hurting Him This Way. He
Is Resenting Me, He Said He Can’t Get The Thought Out Of His Mind, And That It
Will Forever Live With Him, That Things Might Not Be The Way It Use To Be And
Lots Of Other Things. He Said There Is Nothing I Can Do Cos I’ve Lost His Most
Cherished Gift To Another Man. I Am Full Of Regrets Now. I Haven’t Been With
Any Man Since Then, I Wished It Was Him But It Wasn’t Intentional. If Only He
Didn’t Go, I Might Not Have Even Had Anything To Do With Another Man. I Am So
Confused. What Can I Ever Do Again? I Have Prayed To God To Forgive Me And Heal
Him. I Don't Know What To Do. I Only Cry And Pray Day And Night.
ANSWER:
My Dear
Sister, Your Story Is A Long One But I Couldn’t Cut Much Out Because It’s
Really A Heavy Burden From/In Your Heart.
A Man That Is Really Interested In Marrying You Will Not Just Disappear
Like That For A Long Time Without Keeping In Touch With You – The Excuse Of
Struggling To Be A Man So He Can Come And Marry You Does Not Really Make Much
Sense.
What If
He Returned And Met You Married, Wouldn’t He Have Continued With His Life? To Now
Blame You And Refuse To Forgive You Of Your Past Because You Lost Your
Virginity In The Process Is Quite A Harsh Judgement. Am I Exonerating You? NO!
But Like
